I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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