C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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