sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
