I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
