Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
