I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
