Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
