Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Operation Purity has been aborted
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The power of my boobs compel you
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
