I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
