When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
