Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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