you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
