Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
