There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
