No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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