I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
