I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Boobs are out for the taking
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
