Betty ford says i'm here all night
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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