It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
