okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
