I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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