I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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