I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
