Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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