I can tuck mytits in my pants
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
