she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
