I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
