So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I cut my penus on the lid.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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