she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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