By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
