This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
