Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
