the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
