think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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