wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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