genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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