Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
