Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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