I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
