Please, let me fuck your mom
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You were trust falling into bushes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
