we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
