i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
