how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
