Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
