Pants 0. Shit 1.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Even my vagina gasped.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
