he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
