Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
