heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
