I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
