Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
