Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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