i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
