Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
